Pro Choice
On June 4th I was one of nine bridesmaids ensconced in pink at the black tie nuptials of a college friend from Philadelphia. She looked beautiful in ivory satin, crowned in tool but I couldn’t help remember the girl that would dance in her dorm room in her uniform of ripped jeans, a faded baseball cap and black, six-hole Doc Martens.
While caught in the bridal vortex of running errands and folding endless cake boxes I thought lots of negative stuff, "Like what the hell is a cake box?" and other standard thoughts like:
“This is too much money to spend on one day.”
“Fill-in-the-blank-tradition is SO misogynistic.”
“She really registered for household goods? Is it 1953?”
They had married in a civil ceremony the previous December, my brother the only witness. Initially, they claimed it was friendship and other matters of convenience that motivated the ceremony but you can’t deny the way a smitten couple looks at one another.
Thankfully, at neither affair I never thought ill of those getting married, it was love, sweet love, everywhere.
Having the anniversary of the success of the Suffragist Movement and the independence of the US coincide with the weddings of a friend and family member within thirty days of one another reminded me about the exhilarating power of choice. And while my choice on marriage, which may very well be to remain single, is incredibly powerful because I, in fact, have a choice about everything in my life.
When I watched my friend say her vows and I saw clearly it was her choice that she was exercising without hesitation or reservation and that was the personification of independence.
Ah the power of choice, ivory tool or dog collar.
While caught in the bridal vortex of running errands and folding endless cake boxes I thought lots of negative stuff, "Like what the hell is a cake box?" and other standard thoughts like:
“This is too much money to spend on one day.”
“Fill-in-the-blank-tradition is SO misogynistic.”
“She really registered for household goods? Is it 1953?”
Eighty-six years prior in 1919 on June 4th Congress introduced the 19th Amendment for ratification by individual states allowing voting rights to allOver the Fourth of July weekend I attended a delayed reception for my twenty-three year old nephew in Chicago. After initial hellos and hugs he directed our eyes across the courtyard, “The bride is in the long black flowy dress, wearing the dog collar.”
citizens regardless of gender. Full ratification of the amendment was reached on August 18, 1920.
They had married in a civil ceremony the previous December, my brother the only witness. Initially, they claimed it was friendship and other matters of convenience that motivated the ceremony but you can’t deny the way a smitten couple looks at one another.
Thankfully, at neither affair I never thought ill of those getting married, it was love, sweet love, everywhere.
Having the anniversary of the success of the Suffragist Movement and the independence of the US coincide with the weddings of a friend and family member within thirty days of one another reminded me about the exhilarating power of choice. And while my choice on marriage, which may very well be to remain single, is incredibly powerful because I, in fact, have a choice about everything in my life.
When I watched my friend say her vows and I saw clearly it was her choice that she was exercising without hesitation or reservation and that was the personification of independence.
Ah the power of choice, ivory tool or dog collar.
posted by Information Concierge at Sunday, July 10, 2005
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