Napoleon Dynamite
The disco era created the greatest archetype of schmarm with the open shirt, hairy chest, layered gold chains, permed hair but it’s still everywhere.
No arena is safe from schmarm.
You know it immediately, as soon as you’re introduced. Because before you can finish saying hello while your hand is still encased in the tentacles of schmarm you want to take a shower and scold off your epi and your dermis. It’s the used car salesmen aura.
This afternoon the part of the meeting minute taker was played by me while another tech writer was at another meeting for about an hour and a half. Diatribe on meetings to follow later.
The all male attendee meeting seemed happy for the change of scenery as I assumed responsibilities. And as I did the round of introductions there it was, schmarm in a 4’9” package.
This was choice, quality, grade A schmarm because at no additional cost, with just a, “Nice to meet you,” it come with arrogance and apparent incompetence. And an expression I like to reserve for the worthy: tool.
The juxtaposition of toolness and schmarm is a rarity. If only I had the opportunity to see him in action on ladies night. Oh wait, I’ve seen it, just not his particular brand.
Half way through the meeting amongst some geek squabble not worth documenting I look over and Mr. Schmarm is checking his match.com account.
For every bit of schmarm maybe there’s some dilution out there waiting.
And for every bit of work trying to get done there’s a tool.
No arena is safe from schmarm.
You know it immediately, as soon as you’re introduced. Because before you can finish saying hello while your hand is still encased in the tentacles of schmarm you want to take a shower and scold off your epi and your dermis. It’s the used car salesmen aura.
This afternoon the part of the meeting minute taker was played by me while another tech writer was at another meeting for about an hour and a half. Diatribe on meetings to follow later.
The all male attendee meeting seemed happy for the change of scenery as I assumed responsibilities. And as I did the round of introductions there it was, schmarm in a 4’9” package.
This was choice, quality, grade A schmarm because at no additional cost, with just a, “Nice to meet you,” it come with arrogance and apparent incompetence. And an expression I like to reserve for the worthy: tool.
The juxtaposition of toolness and schmarm is a rarity. If only I had the opportunity to see him in action on ladies night. Oh wait, I’ve seen it, just not his particular brand.
Half way through the meeting amongst some geek squabble not worth documenting I look over and Mr. Schmarm is checking his match.com account.
For every bit of schmarm maybe there’s some dilution out there waiting.
And for every bit of work trying to get done there’s a tool.
posted by Information Concierge at Wednesday, September 28, 2005
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